Zoe Rights

Last night was my Birthday. My 36th Birthday. Thank you! Didn't I just hear you say Happy Birthday? Hmmm, must be imagining things. Anyhey, So for some bizarre reason I had it in my head I wanted Lucille's particluary this... With a side of this... In all - Food not so good,...

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Actual transcript of a conversation going on next to me right now... Characters: Older (late 50's), man- slightly beaten by life with tough skin tanned by years of working outdoors. Older (mid-50's), woman- pampered princess with three different highlights and a designer purse. Setting: Starbucks (on the ritzy side of town) Convo:...

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I've been thinking of doing something lately that terrifies me to death...mostly because it thrusts me in the spotlight- not a place (despite what you'd think) I normally like to hang out. The usual questions haunt me...what if I suck? What if someone totally hates on me? What if, what...

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I’ve been dreaming of running a lot lately but not my usual type. Usually I run in terror, from some snarling, foaming beast, running and falling, running and falling, Crying in terror until it catches me and I awake. I don’t even need a psychiatrist to analyze that dream- I...

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Man-child: "Why does SuperGirl get to stay home from school today?" Man-child: "Oh never-mind, I know why" Me: curious  "Why?" Man-child: in a mocking tone "Cuz she has her shit together" Angels sing, harps weep, fireworks dance in the heavens, me-dancing a jig. They get it- they get it- they finally get it! Sighhhh! ...

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I totally stole this recipe from my cousin---all credit goes to her! Ingredients 6 cups rice crispy cereal 3 tablespoon stick butter 1 bag regular marshmallows 1 bag swedish fish Redvines Gummy worms 1 box fruit roll-ups (regular kind) Make Rice Crispy Treats according to recipe but spread them thinly on a cookie sheet and allow to cool till soft set To make Nigiri: Lay...

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I love this tattoo so very much! Would I have the cojones to put something this large on my back? Who knows? But I love it. So if this is you- you have good taste and a kick-ass Tattoo artist. ...

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I’m out of the habit. I’m out of the habit of “Teamwork.” I no longer speak corporate lingo. The ever so polite ‘I’m not sure how comfortable I am with that’ or the seven paragraphs to say what could be bottom-lined in one sentence. I’m out of the habit of...

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Internet you scare me...Seriously! ...

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Shh don't tell anyone but my 36th birthday is coming up in the next two weeks. THIRTY-SIX. Seriously. I just adjusted to being 35. Just adjusted  from checking the age 26 to 34 box to checking the age 35 to 45 box. Thirty-five to forty-five-really? Does that mean it's just a...

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Recently film director and comedian Kevin Smith, age 39, says he was kicked off a Southwest airplane because he was "too fat to fly." While Southwest never used those particular words, according to Kevin Smith he was escorted from the plane for being a “safety concern.” Not ten minutes after...

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Yeah I know I already ripped-off LOL cats posted today but Hilly over at Snackie's World has declared today and tomorrow to be Self Love Day. HAPPY SELF-LOVE DAY!!  Feb. 14th & 15th, 2010 So if you are tuning in late you still have time to play! Here’s how the whole thing works: 1.) You’re gonna...

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see more Lolcats and funny pictures ...

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I spent some time with friends and friends of friends this weekend at a large Super Bowl party. As I've mentioned ad nauseum I live in an extremely homogeneous community. Houses look the same, people look the same, we all drive the same car, shop at the same stores, drink the same...

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Fun game to play amongst your friends... THE ALLIGATOR RIVER STORY  Instructions: Please read the following story. After reading the story, rank the five characters in the story beginning with the one you consider as most offensive, and ending with the one you consider as least objectionable. Also, briefly note...

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Man-child: "Boy it's a good thing I'm not gay." Silence in the car.... SuperGirl: "Um why?" Man-child: "Cuz it'd be weird if you and I were picking from the same dating pool." Me: "No, it'd be weird if we were all picking from the same dating pool." ...

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It's all my fault- I admit it. (For a change) I wasn't paying attention. I wanted to get the chore over with and move on to the next thing that needed to be done, plus there was a line, plus I was hungry, and bitchy and moody and just wanted...

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View out my Bedroom Window.... So do you think it would kinda weird if I knocked on their door in the middle of summer? Hey neighbor? What if I brought Dip? Everyone likes dip.  ...

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Dear people who can't eat when they're "stressed" or "tired" or "upset",  FUCK OFF!  Sincerely,  Bacon is not really your friend ...

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When I was a child grown-ups would often ask me the question…you know the question grown-ups always ask children… What do you want to be when you grow up? Why do we do that? How the hell should they know what they want to be? They’re children- for crying out loud....

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I went back to school this week. Corporate Computer and Network Security ...No, seriously! Really-they're actually making me take this class. Yes- to get my MBA. Cloud Computing, Remote Access Trojans, Promulgation, COSO Framework components, Oh My. Yeah, I have no idea what I just said either. Want to move...

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In my other life, I write book reviews. As an avid reader...HA, HA- an avid reader ...try a psycho insane bis-natch who needs a book in her hand at all times just as much as that heroin addict on the corner needs their daily dose of the needle. God help...

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“Hey Mom?" SuperGirl asked from the passenger seat of the MomMobile aka the Big Beast aka the Trailblazer of Terror. “Can I get my lip pierced?” “Sure honey," I answered distractedly. God-nambit you stupid Hipster in your stupid Jetta, when I have a blinker on for two blocks it means I...

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Gever Tulley has a new book out “Fifty Dangerous Things (You Should Let Your Children Do)” Not familiar with Gever Tully? I wasn't either until I watched this… …and to a certain extent he has a point We … Oh, look I started to say “We, as a society…”...

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