Stuff Unemployed People Like

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#148 Claiming Their New Year’s Resolution is to Get a Job

Dec 31, 2009 2:12pm

Most well-meaning people set out to start off the new year with a clean slate, vowing to quit this or start that - anything that will make them a better person. But it’s well known that resolutions were meant to be broken so this December, all of the unemployed people...

#147 Making Something Out of Nothing for Halloween

Oct 27, 2009 4:06pm

Halloween 2008 was probably one of the final blowouts the now-unemployed had in the past year. Chances are it was the last time people had the opportunity to party hard before doomsday reports, job losses, and a massive downsizing in money and fun took over in 2009. With pitiful signs...

#146 Staring At Their Useless Diploma(s)

Oct 13, 2009 6:27pm

For generations people have fallen for that whole “work hard in school to get a good job” bull crap that is starting to sound more and more like a line of lies these days. After hitting the books and taking the smart people classes to avoid turning out like Jimmy,...

#145 Cramming in Their Health Care

Sep 16, 2009 11:49pm

With national health care being widely debated in these here United States of America, plenty of unemployed people have their own way of dealing with a lack of health insurance: cramming in as many visits and tests as possible before their coverage ends either due to a lay off, a...

#144 Ironically Celebrating Labor Day

Sep 9, 2009 11:01pm

With Labor Day over and the majority of America winding down their summers, there may have been a certain sect of people (jobless) who made employed people wish they had more than one lousy day off to celebrate their contributions to society and the economy. Having no job was hardly...

#143 Thrift Stores

Sep 2, 2009 11:31pm

When rich kids want to look cool, they shop at thrift stores to look poor. When unemployed people want to look clothed, they shop at thrift stores so they don’t get arrested for wearing nothing but their tattered former company’s t-shirt and dirty socks. Thrift stores, “in this economy”, are...

#142 Fast Food Value Menus

Aug 31, 2009 10:31pm

When restaurants around the country stop offering free food promotions for the unemployed to stand in line for all day, there’s always comfort in knowing that the free heart attack in a bag can still be obtained fairly cheaply. For the most part, it seems most fast food chains are...

#141 Rationing Their Cell Phone Minutes

Aug 28, 2009 7:04am

There are times, specifically towards the end of a billing cycle, when unemployed people around the world are just universally impossible to reach. No, they haven’t died, nor have they lost their phones, they’ve just stopped answering them because they’re almost out of minutes and would rather ignore a call...

#140 Constantly Scavenging for Toilet Paper to Steal

Aug 26, 2009 11:43pm

There’s something about toilet paper that makes it generally acceptable to steal whenever the opportunity presents itself. For the most part, the people who are usually guilty of jacking a roll here and there are college students who have moved into their first apartment and don’t realize how toilet paper...

#139 Buying Items in Bulk

Aug 24, 2009 11:44pm

Of all stuff unemployed people like, getting more stuff for their money ranks pretty high as far as level of enjoyment goes. Even if it ends up costing a hell of a lot of money to buy items in bulk, the satisfaction of knowing that the per unit price means...